|Sorry...I know you all were hoping for a picture of my foobs..Instead you got this ugly picture of me..|
But the good news is that on Monday, I am GETTING NIPPLES!!!!!!!! YAY! This will be the last step to my reconstruction process. (Not counting areola tattoos) There really is light at the end of the tunnel. And the light at the end of that tunnel really resembles nipples. Hehe. ( . ) ( . )
I am not getting nervous about getting nipples at all, but it's weird and kind of unnerving because I have become so used to seeing myself in the mirror, looking like mastectomy barbie doll. Being a woman, being a nurse, the overanalytical thoughts have begun to float inside my head, and are overtaking my brain lately....Thoughts like-"What if the nipples, or "fipples" (fake nipples) don't look right and it messes EVERYTHING I have had up to this point, up?".....Thoughts like-"What if the bloodflow to the fipples isn't adequate and one of my fipples falls off in the middle of the night and my dogs eat it?" Thoughts like-"So my fipples are going to be ETERNALLY hard??"...Thoughts like-"What if the fipples deflate/flatten out? What's the point??" No pun intended there....Hehe....Thoughts like-"What if I don't like the fipples? It's not like I can just warm them up and they'll go away....." GAHHHHHH!!!!
But seriously. It's scary. Every fucking step to getting your breasts reconstructed is scary as hell. Yea, they are just boobs, and like I've said before....Boobs don't make you who you are.....But would you want your nipple falling off in the middle of the night? Would you want your husband to gently caress and kiss your nipple one night and then get a mouth full of nipple? This is serious stuff....
But on to the more serious/medical stuff.....Because if I keep freaking about my future fipples falling off, then I am not going to sleep at all tonight. And you probably won't either....And you probably aren't going to look at your own nipples the same way for a while, huh??
My plastic surgeon that performed my surgeries will be doing my nipple reconstructions in her office. She said it will take about an hour, and she will only use local anesthesia. There's no need for general anesthesia because I have no feeling at all on my boobs, due to the fact that they cut them off (I had a double mastectomy...DUH!, and I now have silicone implants...(FYI-if you are new to my blog, you need to go WAY back to my older posts to catch up...Starting in July...) There are places on my foobs that I have some sensation, but over 97.3% of my foobs have absolutely no feeling at all... My doctor said that I won't even require pain medication and can even go shopping afterwards......But then the THOUGHTS enter............
"What if my fipples are bloody for a couple of days? I can't walk around with bloody fipples...that would freak the crap out of people..."
"What if one of the nipples starts falling off and starts taking the skin off my foob with it and I can't feel it? Then my muscle/silicone implant would plop out on the ground randomly...Weird alien shit there."
"What if the doctor accidentally pierces or cuts too deeply into my skin while doing the procedure and ruptures one of my implants????????????
So anyways..(See I told you I have multiple psychotic/hormonal moodswings on a daily basis...I warned you!) .She will use a "CV flap" method to form the nipples....She won't have to take skin from any other part of my body or anything like that...The skin that she will use to make the nipples is the skin on my breasts......Here is an illustration of it to kind of give you an idea...
|I realize this isn't a boob and a nipple, but you get the idea...|
I will attempt to take pictures during the procedure because my doctor is just cool like that and lets me do stuff like that, but if not, either way, you know I will be eager to post pictures of my fipples as soon as I can. So stay tuned for Angela's fipples....And remember.......
|Go ahead and google "nefarious". I know you want to.|