Hooter Humer

I was thinking about some random, (TOTALLY RANDOM), stuff today while I was driving around, working.....And I decided to share this totally random shit with YOU! So here goes...

*What would happen if I went in to Hooters and applied for a job? First of all, I don't even technically have breasts, and this establishment is best known for its' beautiful women and their big, beautiful, volumptious HOOTERS. I don't have boobs..I have foobs...They are totally not real breasts...But they look real. They definitely do not feel real....There are no nipples on my breasts, and if I didn't tell you that I had a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction, there is no way that you would be able to tell....Except for maybe a hooters master? The owl?? WTF?

Duh

*What would happen if I decided to be stupid as shit and go into a tattoo place to get my non-existent nipple pierced? They would take me to the back, *hopefully* sterilize their equipment, tell my to take my top off, which I would, and then WTF!!!??? NO NIPPLES! They would be scarred for life. No pun intended...  ;)

This lady is getting felt up by some random ladies...

*These damn tissue expanders are like rocks.....(Like I've said a million times before.) They don't move...What would happen if I went to have a pap smear by a random ob/gyn doctor who didn't know anything about my past medical history (which I would NEVER LET HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE) , and get a manual breast exam done by them during a pap smear appt or something......They would feel my foob and be like "HOLY SHIT! WTF! Why is it so hard? That is totally not normal!" Haha. Totally random..I know.

*I should totally wear a shear or see through t-shirt sometime.....(Obviously with no bra...I don't have to wear one.) I'm sure I'd get some weird looks and really let down some perverted men hoping to see some nipple action.

This is totally not me....

So see.....Totally random shit....Weird as crap.....But I had to share it with you. You are very welcome.