Saturday, October 23, 2010

These Boulders Upon my Chest

This is what a bilateral mastectomy, (non nipple sparing, skin sparing) looks like. WITH immediate reconstruction, using tissue expanders!!! OH JOY!
 Since I am completely done with my tissue expansion phase, I wanted to take a look at my first picture of my foobs, and compare it to the monstrous boulders that lie inside of me currently. The picture above is the picture that was taken back in July, just a few days after my surgery. At the time of my surgery, my plastic surgeon put 260cc's of saline into the expanders. This usually doesn't happen in most cases, but because I live far away from my doctor, and would have to return every 2 weeks for my fills, she wanted to go ahead and give me a head start to my fills. (THANK YOU, Dr.Tsao Wu!!!) The weird ass looking thing in the middle of my foobs was the little cord that I called the "pain pump" that was inserted under my tissue to continuously leak local anesthetic for about 3-4 days to help decrease the pain in that area.


During these 3 months, with bi-weekly trips up to Albuquerque, NM to get my expanders filled, (which is a 550 mile round trip, WITH a 6 year old and a 4 year old, mind you,) I am so happy that I am done with the "fill" chapter of all of this. Yes, the pain is still something that I have to deal with on almost a constant basis, and that's fine. I'm just so glad that we don't have to make those trips like that every 2 weeks anymore. (But like I always say, this is what I wanted and felt I had to do to prevent myself and my family from having to invite cancer into our lives, so I guess I can't complain at all, huh...)  OH, and yes, my doctor is freaking awesome!

This is what my foobs look like NOW! 500cc's of saline inserted into the expanders. I am now just waiting for my exchange surgery. IMPATIENTLY waiting, that is.



4 comments:

Rachel said...

holy shhhhhhhhhit!

wowsers. those look sooooo painful. ouch. don't knock anyone out with those. that is completely possible.

i don't now how you are able to tolerate 500 cc's in each foob. i am going out of my mind with 460 cc's. fortunately, i am done with expansion too.

do you ever knock things over with those puppies? i do. i was very flat chested going into pbm, so my mind hasn't adjusted to the new projection and sometimes i find myself rounding a corner and bashing right into it with my foobs. good thing i am mostly numb when those things happen.

sending cyber hugs to you. i hope you get your exchange done before christmas. i may be stuck with mine until march...but i am praying/crying for a miracle that a spot opens up sometime late november/december. (i start school jan. 10/2011 and can't have surgery messing with it.)

rach

aslatenrn said...

Rachel,
I totally feel your pain! There are many times when I lean over something, or hit the door with my gigantic fun bags and, a.)I don't feel it at all d/t the complete numbness, and , b.)These things stick out like crazy!

I can't believe you may have to wait until March until your exchange surgery! I would be miserable! I was so anxious and scared about my first surgery, and almost dreading it, but for this surgery, it can't come soon enough! Haha.

I will be thinking and hoping and praying for you that your surgery comes sooner than later!

Lucita_Streetola said...

Hi,
My name's Lucy and I am going through the same process at 27 myself here in australia. I completely understand your discomfort and longing for the swap over. I had mine last week.. and not to be a downer but I feel cheated.. Im guessing you ll probably get a better surgeon than I had but I had large breasts and for some reason or another they didnt explain i went from a 14 dd to i dont even know how small i am not.. and they re wonky and it's making me so angry...they do on the plus side feel a lot more like the real thing and the healing is a lot faster and less painful than the original operation., I am BRACA 2 5th gen and caught it at the very early stages .. I was determined to have a mastectomy anyhow but Im now glad I was so stubborn.. But what Im trying to say is make sure they manage your expectations properly as mine did not and Im having a hard time coping.. All the best and thank you for sharing your journey.. I am finding a lot of people find it a hard pill to swallow and some people that I thought were friends didnt cope.. I am going on the radio this weekend to discuss my journey.. so F*ck the masses..they can turn it off or be supportive.. I am what I am and It's nice to know I'm not alone:) xo

Lucita_Streetola said...

I am also running a fund raiser to raise awareness for the group that diagnosed my Mother and I and an art exhibition. I agree with you entirely that the awareness needs to be spread as a lot of people our age don't think it can happen to them or even know what services are available to them.