Lady Lumps

What's in a boob? Really? I know that for most men, when asked what boobs are to them, they would say, "Happiness". (IF they only knew....HA! And for those select men that actually have boobs, then it probably isn't happiness, but that's another subject..)  For most women, boobs are something that fill out their clothes, give them back pain occasionally, hurt when they are about to start their period....Boobs are what nourish your newborn child..That's what boobs used to be for me...Now, my boobs are scary appendages to my body. They are my potential killers and I no longer see them as "just boobs". They are threats to me.

Sure, boobs are mainly composed of fatty tissue....Mine are composed of fatty, saggy, well, verrrry saggy tissue, as well as fibrocystic tissue which makes me feel lumps almost every time I feel myself up. (Don't get all excited...I'm talking about my monthly breast exams WHICH every woman should do 3-4 days AFTER your last day of your menstrual period....Just had to throw that in..)  Anyways...My boobs are lumpy, scary, and even though I have had several abnormal mam-slams (mammograms), the docs say that because my breast M.R.I. came back normal, that my boobs are "okay for now"....But that's not good enough for me, because of my BRCA crap. I'm not gonna wait around and let one of those lumps turn into something that becomes something scarier than just a lump or a cyst. Uh-uh...Nope. Not gonna happen. Those big girls (well, saggy girls) are coming off...No more lumpy scariness to deal with...

Anyways...I felt a big lump in my right breast today..It's the same lump that I've felt for a long time, but it's bigger, and even though they've done spot compression tests on that spot and have never found anything, I don't know if that's justifiable...My husband felt this lump a couple of months ago, and when I went in to get a mammogram, and before I got tested for BRCA, AND even though it was all okay a couple of months ago, does that mean it's okay now?? Hell no...I know that. I'm not stupid. (I'm a nurse! Hehe) I don't know...Maybe I'm being dramatic, maybe I'm just being a little too sensitive with my breasts because I know that I don't have much time with them left....I don't know....Lumps suck. And when I say lumps, I mean boobs AND lumps in your lumps.