Sick day

Stress lowers our immunity. This is a fact. And if you have been keeping up with my blogs, then you know that I have been stressed. So, naturally......You guessed it....My immune system has decided to go M.I.A. and I have felt like dog shit since yesterday. (Which was Mother's day, and in my opinion, was not the type of Mother's Day gift I was hoping for.) But what can I say, except for, "Whatever....What else? Bring it on."

I am ready to get this PBM surgery out of the way, the recovery out of the way, and to be able to get on with my life. I know that my life prior to all of this BRCA stuff was far from normal, but it was MY life. I know that I was born with this gene mutation, and have always had it, but just recently found out about it this past year..Yes, I feel blessed that I am able to change the future by knowing my BRCA status, but at the same time, I just want to get all of this over with. I guess you could say I am still at the " anger stage" of my rollercoaster journey with this whole thing.

There are days where I feel like I have 100% accepted all of this, and accepted the fact that in 2 months my boobs will be taken off my body, but in all reality, I don't think any woman can 100% totally accept that fact.  Even knowing the benefits of the surgery and all of that don't really help me 100% accept the fact that I am going to lose my breasts. But it's going to happen, and I am making the best choice. I just have to keep telling myself that. On stressful days, especially, that's when the anger, the denial and the sadness pound on my heart. But then I just think about my mom and how she might still be here today if she could have done this surgery, before she got cancer...And that helps.

So my immunity might be low right now and I might look and feel like shit at the current moment, but I am trying my best to keep my spirits high..July 13 is two months away and that is when I will having my surgery to have my breasts removed. Until then, I will live MY life, and won't let BRCA live it for me. That's a fact. Now to go take some more Nyquil......Ughh...